Calm Down and Assess
Step 1
Once you’ve decided to get back with your ex, your number one priority is to calm down and be reasonable. Death wails have their time and place, but when you are making a game plan, you must be strictly logical, even when evaluating your emotions.
First and foremost, you must take into account whether you should be trying to get back with your ex at all. For more information on this process, see our home page article, 5 Reasons to Get Back With Your Ex and our blog, Tips to Get Your Ex Back.
If you’ve determined that you should continue down this path, you must consider your situation. Try to understand where the relationship went wrong. Be objective in your self-assessment; don’t shoulder all the blame, but don’t let yourself off too easily either. Look at your past arguments from a third person perspective and attempt to understand where your ex was coming from. See from outside of yourself and create an honest picture of your faulty areas and your strengths as well as your ex’s.
It may be tempting to look at the situation from anger and see only how your ex was responsible for causing your pain. You might also be inclined to put your ex on a pedestal, thinking you are undeserving on him or her. Neither of these perspectives are beneficial or true and you must work past this before moving on to the next step.
For further information on self-evaluation post-breakup, consult The Magic of Making Up - the quintessential guide to undoing the breakup.